So, not to creep you guys out or anything, but there’s a WordPress feature that allows us to see where in the world people are viewing our blog from. Don’t worry! It doesn’t show us exactly where in the world. Like, we can’t see the mess on your computer desk. Or your street address. Hey, we can’t even see what state you’re in (if you’re in a country with states) or what province, or zone or whatever. We just see a little world map, with the countries that have viewed our blog colored in. Red for a lot of views, orange for less views, white for no views. You get the picture.
Anyway, this feature has been a very exciting discovery for me! While I do wish I could peep in on viewers’ home offices, or wherever their computers are located, I am very happy to imagine people all over the globe reading my boring monologues about laundry soap and plastic jack-o-lanterns. Wait, is that happy I feel, or creeped out? Hmm. Tell you what, if you agree not to mind that I know what country you’re in, I’ll agree not to mind that you know my inner-most thoughts and feelings. There, that sounds fair.
Anyway, I just have to make a couple observations about our blog’s map:
1) What’s up, Italy? Even though we have an entire post dedicated to their fine language (see here), not one person in Italy has found reason to read our blog.
Qual è il problema, l’Italia? Ti piace jack-o-lanterne? Now, I normally wouldn’t be surprised that no one from a relatively small country on the other side of the world hadn’t read our blog, except that…
2) What’s up, Qatar? Nice to meet you! I’ll be honest, I didn’t know you were a country until I Googled you just now, but we appreciate your stopping by to visit! كنت ضيوفنا الكرام هنا. يأتي في أي وقت. In my Google search, I did learn that Qatar sounds like a lovely country. Like a place from the future, but with camels. See?
3) The countries with the most views are, in this order, starting with the very most, U.S.A. , Canada, U.K. and Australia. These all make sense, because we know people in these places. But what’s up, U.K.? A whole side of our family is there, yet you’re being beat by Canada? (Hi, Canada! Thanks for viewing!) We wonder why our U.K. family members aren’t hanging on our every word, checking in at least three times a day. Weird.
4) Speaking of the U.K., what’s up, WordPress? Why are you lumping all the U.K. countries into one “country” on our map? The U.K. is a kingdom, not a country. It’s not the semantics that bother us though. It’s the way in which this lumping decreases the usefulness of the map feature to us. See, as I mentioned, we have a bunch of family in England. And, as I also mentioned, we’re expecting them to bump up their viewing habits here. BUT, since you’ve clumped Scottland, Wales and that Northern slice of Ireland in with their country, how are we to know they’re not catching a free ride on the viewing habits of some Scottish fan? Maybe they’re viewing even less than we thought!
5) Other fans appear to reside in Spain and Argentina. Hola, y gracias por visitar! Espero que disfruten de historias de nuestra pequeña familia. Also, Denmark and Sweden. Surprisingly, no one from Switzerland. (Some of those guys speak Italian too. Did I not mention my Italian post?!) We’re also happy to have visitors from such places as Israel, Panama, Pakistan, the Czech Republic and Germany. And the Philipines! The list goes on. We are truly international. And oh, the places we go!
To summarize, we appreciate your taking the time to visit us, wherever you are in the world. We know your time is precious. And we were just kidding when we challenged the English to view the blog more. Mostly kidding. Probably 60% kidding. We hope family and friends who stop by feel a little closer to us and can feel the love we’re sending out. We hope those who stop by accidentally are able to find something that makes their trip to our blog at least a little bit worth their while. And that if they don’t, they leave a comment about how useless our blog was to them. We love comments!
So for now, all there is left to say is this:
شكرا لك، وداعا!
Gracias, y adiós!
Děkuji a sbohem!
शुक्रिया, और अलविदा!
Tack, och adjö!
Vielen Dank und auf Wiedersehen!
Tak, og farvel!
Italia, ci hai deluso.