A Letter to my Grandmother

Dear Grandma Jean,

I’ve heard from numerous sources that you are this blog’s biggest fan.  That’s really nice to know.  I’ve been missing you since we moved away, wishing I could spend more time with you.  Especially in recent months and weeks, as you became weaker and quieter and more still.  Anyway, I figure if this blog was my best way to reach you, who’s to say it isn’t still!

It was a week ago today that you passed away.  I hear that you died peacefully, and I know that you were cared for by people who loved you right up until the end.  I am thankful for that.  I’m sad that you’re gone.  I miss you more now.  I missed you when we lived far away, you know, but now I miss you more than that.

Yesterday we gathered at my dad’s house (my dad, your beloved son and only child) to remember you.  It was really nice.  Wish you could have been there.  I mean, I feel like you were there, as much as a dead person could be, but I wish I could have hugged you and sat next to you and heard your voice.  I thought I’d post some pictures here for you (maybe, just maybe) and anyone else to see of the day.

All these people came.

And of course Jim W (my dad) and Susan.  Gerome and Sue came too for a little while.  See the little girls sitting out back in their tutus there?  Doesn’t that remind you of another two little girls we knew, who’d wear those same dresses just like that?  That reminds me, some people weren’t able to make it yesterday.  Shaelyn and Davia had to stay up in Oregon with Kane.  And there are many others who would have liked to be there.  You’ve been a wonderful part of so many people’s lives.  I wonder if you know that.

Hey, look!  Did you know Lauren and Justin and Rosalind got a dog?  They did.  She’s really sweet.  Her name is Mari.  Here she is:

Isn’t she pretty?  I bet you would have liked her eyes.  Or maybe you would have thought they were weird.  Maybe both.

Dottie Wood, my mom’s mom, sent you these beautiful flowers.  Everyone admired them.  They’re gorgeous.

Our Eila was there.  Your namesake, sweetest baby in the world.  Here she is with Renny.  And then with Justin…

Justin and Eila played together.

She’s attacking!

 

Gentle, Eila!

That baby.  I know how much you loved her, even in the short time you got to spend with her.  And I love that we chose your name for her middle name.  Not just because it will always remind me of you, but also because I imagine your name like a little jar, filled with all the things we love about you – your strength, your kindness, your loyalty, your boldness, your love and caring and commitment to family, your open mind and heart, your sense of humor, and so many more things that make you special – wrapped in ribbon and handed to Eila to carry on through out her life.  A little bit of your legacy, just for her.  That’s how it is in my mind anyway.

Did I mention Renny got a dog?  I did.  Mari’s wonderful.  Not exactly a genius though, and she ran full speed, face first into the sliding glass door a couple times before I put this sign up for her.

People tried to warn me that Mari can’t read.  I don’t know though… she didn’t run into the door again.

Here is Susan slicing some pie for everyone.

Renny and Eila having some play time.

Then we all gathered around, and your Jimmy told us all about your life, pausing to let us interject any memories or thoughts we wanted to share.

 

 

 

 

It was really special hearing so much about your life.  Some of it surprised me.  Some of it was funny.  I cried.  I felt closer to you and to understanding you, felt closer to where I came from.  A lot of what came out in this talk reinforced my favorite things about you.

We went through some of your stuff with Dad, and my sisters and I tried on your lipstick.

 

I wouldn’t have liked people going through my stuff, so I considered not telling you that we did that here.  But hey, if you’re somehow reading my blog, you could probably already know that we looked through your things.  And don’t worry – we were very respectful and didn’t find anything weird or anything.

Well….

We did find this tiny, possibly angry, baby.

And I don’t know what’s going on with this one…

I’m sure you had your reasons for keeping such a… special bunny figurine.

 

Overall the day was a very sweet and wonderful one of remembering you and loving you.  I’m so glad I was able to be there for it.

Grandma, I miss you and always will.  I love you forever.  Thanks for everything you gave me.

See you around.

A Day for a Father

Kane’s birthday was this past Saturday, so it was his turn to be pampered.  We made him green tea in a pot and lemon water in a Kane-like glass.

Presents were placed under the Birthday Tree.  Just kidding, that’s not a birthday tree.  That’s Charlie, one of our house plants.  But a birthday tree is a cool idea…

Here’s Davie, decorated, in front of some of the decorations.

Kane awoke (at his chosen wake-up time) to find his birthday morning drinks waiting for him.  “Mmm,” his face seems to say.  “Green tea.”

 

We decided to all go to one of Kane’s favorite places in Portland – Saturday Market.  It’s the best!  Here’s Eila, all dressed up and ready to go.

 

Kane tries to concentrate on driving while Kate insists on capturing the moment.

 

Shaelyn and Davia pose with a statue near the waterfront in Portland where Saturday Market is held.  If you’re wondering by now what Saturday Market is, it’s this amazing event that happens weekly (Sundays too!) in Portland except in the rainy season.  It’s a great place to go gift shopping, people watching, elephant ear tasting, music listening, etc.  It’s the weirdest of the weird, for sure, but also a great place to find some amazing creative talent.

 

 

Have I mentioned the elephant ears?  That’s the delicious display of madness you see here in each girl’s hand.  They’re fried, sweet, covered in toppings.  Everything you want in an ear!

 

Crazy times at Saturday Market.  And that guy in the blue shirt, sunglasses and black cap?  He really, really wanted to be in our photo.  I won’t tell you the longish story of how I know this, but trust me.  It was, like, his life dream.  Your welcome, strange guy.

We’re having fun.

Shaelyn and Davia enjoyed watching some street performers.  Mostly.

 

And this was the kind man in the parking garage who reminded us to THINK about where we were parked, so that we would remember.

 

Happy Birthday, Kane!!!!

A Day for a Mother

Last weekend, Sunday was Mothers Day.  I was served a morning mimosa in bed and got up to a table set with a breakfast feast and cards and presents.  Later in the day, though it was a raging 90 degrees out, we packed up the whole family and a picnic and headed to a park.  We realized somewhere along the way that this was the first such outting with all five of us.  That made it special, even if the trip wasn’t otherwise the best time anyone had ever had.  (A certain subset of the family was rather displeased with the facts that we had to share the park with other people, that it was hot, that we forgot the ice water, that the creek was dried up, that the pond was too “oily”, that other kids were crowding their frog-finding expedition, that we had to take photos, and then somehow, also, that we had to go home at the end.)  But we did it!  And it was fun enough.

Then for dinner, I thought about sending everyone out for sushi.  (That’s what I do when I need an evening break… you know, to do dishes and fold laundry in peace.)  But I decided that I actually did want to spend my evening with my family, so I kept them all home and made them eat food prepared by yours truly.  Not sure what I was thinking.  But they are what makes me a mother, so it seemed appropriate.  And deep down, I do kind of like having them around.

Dark End of a Tunnel, and Some Light

Kate’s new footwear

You know those days where it seems like life itself is messing with you?  With little jabs and mishaps and annoyances scattered from sun-up to sun-down?  To the point where you start looking for hidden cameras or something, convinced that this can’t all be real.  Yesterday was a day like that for me.  The grand finale, after a full day of life trying to piss me off, was my slipping (for no good reason) while trying to climb onto my bed, falling to the floor and spraining my ankle.  Ugh.

And then you know those weeks or months or years, that are similarly sprinkled with misfortune?  Where it seems like you’ve got the cards stacked against you?  And it all seems, at the risk of sounding a lot like one of our 8-year-olds, “No fair!”  And this is harder to find the humor in than a bad day.  And as time goes on, it gets harder to find a silver lining, a light at the end of the tunnel, or any other metaphor that might make one feel better about things.  I’m an optimistic girl.  But things are rough right now.  Again.

But if there’s anything silver or light going on, in what I guess would be our cloudy tunnel, it is most certainly these three little girls.  Two tall, one small, all gorgeous and brilliant.  With their bright eyes and little voices, radiating innocence and wonder, somehow encompassing Life and also oblivious to it.  Somehow making it all okay.

While her father’s breaking his back to try and get the lawn under control, armed only with a cheap, rusty lawn-mower, facing foot high blades of grass the whole lawn over… And he’s worrying about what the property management wants, what the neighbors might say, how much the lawn mower cost, how much he could afford to put down on some other tool to get the job done… there’s Eila.  In her bouncer, bouncing, and the sun’s bouncing off her cheeks, and she’s giggling so genuinely, and she hasn’t a care in the world.

In the middle of the street, in 80 degree Oregon heat, these twins are being who they are, doing what they do.  Wet from the hose and from sweat, dressed in a bathing suit or in long sleeves and pants (what’s that about?), dancing and playing and kicking up their heels, they’re making me laugh.  Though my jaw hurts from clenching through the stresses of adulthood, and my mind is racing from one worry to another, these girls are making me laugh.

I know as well as anyone that childhood is no picnic.  As this shot was snapped, a drama was unfolding on all sides, with neighborhood kids.  Someone made fun of someone.  Someone made someone mad.  There’s this whole, organic social structure that exists within groups of children that I think grown-ups don’t really understand.  And it’s hard.  But it’s wild.  Wild and free, like childhood is.  It’s a ground-up, roots-close, open-hearted kind of being.  Even when it’s hard.

Shaelyn and Davia are old enough to know that things are hard for the grown-ups too right now.  And that our family’s future is unpredictable.  We try to only tell them what they need to know.  We try to assure them that, whatever happens, they will be safe and taken care of.  Unfortunately, I think they still worry about it some.  But they can only worry so much about grown up stuff.  They’ve got more pertinent things to focus on.  Like building a club “house”…

Like monitoring the wildlife in our yard…

Like honoring the artistic inspiration they derive from time spent in front of the TV…

And like making sure their parents don’t forget to join them now and again for some vegging out…

Those two girls, who every day step closer to adulthood, who are navigating a world that’s difficult both from their own childhood perspective and from the perspective of the parents caring for them, and who are truly unlike anyone I’ve met, somehow provide us with that light and that silver lining we so desperately need.

Meanwhile little Eila is set to the task of navigating this world (and this family) as well.  She’s too young to understand so much of it, but I swear… sometimes she’s able to explain it all to me in one glance of those incredible eyes.  And no matter what’s going on in our adult lives, or her sisters’ preteen lives, she’s busy at work in her own infant life.

Trying to figure out how the flavor of peas found its way into her beloved “ice pop”…

Trying to figure out how to hold up her own bottle to get that last drop of milk…

Trying to figure out her relation to these crazy people in her life…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And so it goes.  Life is a glorious prankster.  And our loud, expensive, messy children are our best medicine.  And as messed up as a lot of it feels right now, I guess all is as it should be.  And looking into three beautiful sets of round, blue eyes, I know it’s going to be okay.  Somehow.

Thing One and Thing Two

This is a post I call “Thing One and Thing Two.”  (I think that is a favorite Dr. Seuss reference for most parents of twins… or least favorite if they’re heard it too many times.)  I ask you to join me in comparing sets of two things – in this case pictures.  As a mother of twins, comparing two things has, despite all my best efforts, become my a kind of specialty of mine.  But with most of these sets of two, I think even an amateur comparer could spot the differences or similarities I’m going to focus on.  Enjoy!

For our first Thing One, I’d like you to look at these delicious and so cute cookie bowls I baked:

Ha!  Just kidding.  That is a picture I swiped off the internet.  Actually from this site, which is where I found the directions for my cookie bowl project.  I was fairly certain my cookie bowls would come out adorable and delicious.  After all, I found these directions on “the internet service, one of the trusted things of today’s society!”  (<—- Free cookie bowl to anyone who can identify that quote.  For the answer, see here.)  So confident was I, and so excited, I decided to try this idea for the first time when the girls had a friend over.  All three girls were drooling as I put our cookie bowls in the oven to bake.

A few minutes later, Thing Two:

Yum.

Maybe I wasn’t supposed to grease the pan?   (Many thanks to Kane for cleaning the oven!)

For our next Thing One, observe Shaelyn’s lego creation of a red-winged blackbird:

by Shaelyn

Pretty cute, you might be thinking, but what’s that yellow doing on his wing?  I’ll point out here that Shaelyn made this from memory, without looking at a book or anything.  And any birders or anyone more observant than myself might say, “Well, of course it has yellow on its wing.”  See now Thing Two:

a photograph of a red-winged blackbird

What the what?!  Who on earth notices those yellow wing feathers?  Even the person who named this bird didn’t notice them, or it would be called a “red and yellow-winged blackbird.”  That Shaelyn.  Clever kid.

 

For this next one, you know, people are always saying how much Eila looks like Kane.  I don’t see it.  Again, we have Thing One:

And Thing Two:

Oooooh, now I see it!

Now this final one is the challenge round.  Spot the difference.

Thing One:

Kane giving Eila a bottle.

 

Thing Two:

Kane giving Eila a bottle

Did you spot it?  That’s right, in the latter photo, Kane is giving Eila an empty bottle.  Never mind though, she obviously doesn’t mind.  Strange child.  Fits right in with this bunch.

 

And that concludes today’s round of Thing One and Thing Two.  I’ll leave you with a picture of our family’s favorite thing one and thing two…

Things Shaelyn and Thing Davia, being adorable

 

How to Turn Unseasonal Junk into Sprouting Art

jack-o-trash in April

It’s okay if you still have these tacky plastic Halloween pumpkins in your house in April.  Right?  The one on the right is a cauldron.  You know, for brew.  In front of the jack-o-trash in the above picture are some paints we’ve had around forever also.  Something had to be done about this.

The idea was inspired by a walk to a road-side produce and garden stand around the corner from our house.  Eila and I walked there in the pouring rain, with my reusable produce bags in my hand, to get some veggies.  Turns out, they only have produce on the weekends, and this was on Friday.  So we went home that time empty handed.  And very wet!  But while there, I did notice all the lovely plants they had for sale, and so a project was born.

Mission:  To make planters for a little vegetable garden out of old Halloween junk.

What you will need:

• some of those jack-o-lantern buckets (or cauldron!) that they sell around Halloween for a buck or two
• black spray paint (or whatever color you have around… or a pretty color if you buy the spray paint)
• more paint – make sure it’s indoor/outdoor paint
• paint brushes or sponges
• lots of newspaper
• planting soil
• vegetable starters from a nursery or garden store

Step 1:  In a ventilated area, of course, spray paint the jack-o-lanterns.  The idea here is to make them look less like Halloween decorations.

spray-o-lantern

spray jack black

black jack

airing out to dry

Step 2:  Whilst those are drying, if you haven’t already, pop over to the plant stand to pick up some veggie starters!

We chose tomatoes, bell peppers, zucchini and raspberries.

Step 3:  When the spray paint is dry, paint some more!  This time with brushes.  Don’t forget to protect your table.  It was a wedding gift.  Or, ours was anyway.  But protect any table!

paint blobs, ready for action

Kids love painting stuff.

Shaelyn at work

Davia at work

Davia's art pot

Then put the masterpieces out to dry.

Step 4: Planting time!  Get out your soil and your little plantlets, and pack ‘em in there.  Make sure there’s a hole in the bottom of your converted jack-o-bucket for proper drainage!

Kids love planting stuff.

(Note the random neighborhood kids in various photos.  Can’t keep ‘em away when there’s painting and planting going on!  Or ever.)

Look how cute!

Step 5:  Put them in your garden wherever you want them.  Or let your kids decide, and have them somewhere else.

Davia and Shaelyn with our creations